Mon. Jan. 23rd, 2012

Well, that didn't take long. Lasted longer than some attempts, but I just don't have the motivation to write anymore. I feel like I have nothing to say except to spew vitriol of my life as I see it right now. Seems pointless to go on and on about it with only negative things to say. Not time well spent. So, yeah.

TGIF Jan 20th, 2012

Yay for Friday and yay for a half day! Egg & cheese wrap w/16oz coffee for breakfast- yes, took the kid to Dunkin, but hey, one last hurrah? This book, The Happiness Diet, is really opening my eyes to some stuff and I *srsly* plan to change the way we eat. The book has been very motivating, now I just gotta put something in action.

I'll try to get my water in today too. Funny, the book hasn't said anything about water being important yet, hmmm.

Thursday pt 2

This damn thing apparently ate the comment I posted to today earlier, and it wont let me read it, so here's a new one. I'm just bored and fed up with today so figured I'd waste a little time. Only about 48oz of water today, still time for another one, but meh, kinda just done with it for now. Actually enjoying a Reese's PB Cup and boy is it good, sugar be damned.

SO sick of listening to people make personal phones calls today. Just tired of hearing about stuff I don't need to hear about. Cubes are open air so it's kind of impossible not to hear. Some days I can tune stuff out better than today. Some peoples' voices just drive me up a fuckin' wall on days like today.

Tired of pain in the ass customers today too. Tomorrow will be better cause I leave @ Noon!

Already feeling like we'll eat out tonight cause I'm too lazy to try and cook anything- would have to go to the store first anyway >.< OI VEY

Thurs. Jan 19th, 2012

I am already bored with this. I feel like I have only negative things to say and that's making it harder to care about posting. Meh.

I read that eggs & cheese go well together- something (I forget what) in the eggs makes it easier for our bodies to absorb the calcium in the cheese. So go me, I made myself an egg, cheese & bacon english muffin sandwisch for breakfast. Roughly 48oz of coffee. I'll hit the water all day again and I'll be having 16oz energy drink for lunch. Woo.

Wed. Jan 18th, 2012

So we enter Day 2 of officially not giving a crap, about much of anything anymore >.<

16oz energy drink
24oz coffee

I'll drink plenty of water and don't plan to eat any lunch, but you never know.

So many things I feel I want to say to her that I've said in my head, over & over. I think if I let them be recorded there's too great a chance I'll send them to her and that would be pointless. They will remain in my head.

Another week of LFR in the books without any gear, woot! But I did finally get enough VP to purchase my helm, so there's that. Might raid DS Friday night, but it starts @ 8pm which is too early for me when I have my daughter. I'm not worried about it. My desire to play at all has waned significantly, for a multitude of reasons. Even playing SWTOR is getting a little boring when it's always alone, but I should be used to that by now, huh?

Tues Jan 17th, 2012

I have GOT to stop eating take out food. Seriously.

This morning, 16oz energy drink, 24oz coffee

Walking @ lunch, gym after work & protein shake for dinner tonight. NOTHING ELSE!

Happy MLK Jr Day!

Looks like I missed the weekend, oops. Frankly, I'm embarassed by what I ate over the weekend, but hey, I went to the gym, so I guess I don't feel too bad about it. I probably should though >.<

Today, 12oz milk, and a very delicious Blueberry Cake donut from Dunkin. Hey, no trans-fats! Don't judge. Also 16oz energy drink. I'm drinking water at work (no coffee today!) cause I'm leaving at Noon to go meet the Charter Internet installation guy. Cross fingers that goes smoothly and turns out to be as fast as I think it will. A guy here at work just told me an ATT installer told *him* computers don't really use more than 6mbps. I'm calling bullshit on that, because I know plenty of people who get super fast speeds from a variety of ISPs.

We shall see. No plans to eat much lunch, will likely go protein shake after the gym after the Charter guy is done.

Friday, Jan. 13th, 2012

Dun dun dun, Friday the 13th, unlucky day for some, already a good day for me, all things considered, because I am done with my work day @ Noon.

Mags asked if we could do Dunkin for breakfast and being in a good mood, and it's payday, I said yes, IF we get up a little earlier. She had no trouble with that, hehe. I was asleep last night by 10:30pm, awake @ 1am, 2:50am, 4:50am, and then slept fitfully for an hour before just getting the hell out of bed and getting on with it. Don't know why I couldn't sleep last night- it's been a few weeks since I've experienced that problem. I know I have ongoing stress that hits me in waves- I think about stuff then it receeds but then I think about it again later, meh.

SO, 16oz of some of the best coffee around and my favorite, a blueberry old-fashioned donut for breakfast today. Another 24oz of coffee (the other best, now that I grind my own Kaldi's beans at home) will round out my morning and I don't plan on eating much for lunch.

Looking fwd to getting back to the gym for the first day since Tuesday and I'll go back to protein shakes in the afternoon. I'll drink plenty of water until Noon, can't promise anything after that. Still pretty sure I've not lost any weight since the 1st, but pray I've not gained any >.<

Thurs. Jan 12th, 2012

SNOW

And ice, and horrible road conditions, because apparently the cities in St. Louis County SUCK at clearing it. And this was expected snow! It wasn't like a surprise or anything. Pathetic. Made worse because apparently people forget completely how to drive in it. Miserable drive in to work after dropping the kid at school.

16oz energy drink for breakfast
24oz coffee

May eat a sandwich I brought for lunch, we'll see. Lots of water expected.

Shudder to think about my car potentially not starting this afternoon after sitting outside all day. I'm spoiled by parking overnight in the garage at home. We shall see.

Wed. Jan 11th, 2012

Early sales meeting this morning so late post.

Was up early enough to make my own breakfast sandwich, which I have decided was much healthier (fewer calories than McDs) 2 med. eggs, 2 pieces of whole grain white bread, 2 sausage links. Those were pretty small links.

24oz cofee

nothing else for lunch as I will be pigging out (terrible, I know) on pizza tonight with the kiddo. It's a tradition and it's cheap!

Working on water, no reason not to expect 72oz (that's my Tervis filled three times) or more

Tues. Jan 10th, 2012

16oz energy drink for breakfast (can you be addicted to those things?) They have vitamins & stuff, so I"ll just consider it my multi-vitamin. I usually drink the no sugar/no carb versions, so at least I'm not putting empty calories in me.

Pretty much just water today- I think I may actually have this hunger thing under control, or at least better under control.

This new year started with me making some pretty strong resolutions, some of which I've already had problems with, hehe. But despite lingering financial worries, being a bit overweight, and having ZERO prospects in the relationship dept. I'm feeling quite optimistic about 2012. Despite *that* I'm feeling a lot of anger right now, mostly at myself, but some toward the kind of people who constantly try to keep you linked to their life, yet at the same time unwilling to allow you inside on a personal level. I'm tired of that, tired of chasing relationships where I'm the only one interested. I think this anger is fueling me a bit more than traditional calories and we'll see who that goes.

Whatever.

Mon. Jan 9th, 2012

I guess I'm trying to keep this up, we'll see how it goes.

No exercise this past weekend, it's back to the gym tonight.

16oz energy drink for breakfast today while my daughter at least had waffles and strawberries and juice. I can keep her mostly healthy eating even if I don't do it myself >.<

Going for mostly water today- no coffee- so we'll see how that goes. If I'm dying and falling asleep by 2pm it'll be bad. Have an apple for lunch and plan to walk 2mi. We'll see if that happens; it's cold today but sunny so we shouldn't have any problem there.

Sun. Jan 7-8th. 2012

This is why I've almost always stopped blogging in the past- when the weekend comes I just don't take the time to write. PLUS I've eaten like a pig this weekend, sad but true. And no workouts when I have my daughter with me. Oh well.

Fri. Jan 6th, 2012

Had to bring treats to work for my birthday, got Dunkin Donuts Munchkins. I do not plan to have any. Had a 12oz latte w/skim milk & a bacon, egg, & cheese wrap (in a soft flour tortilla)

@ work having 24oz coffee & will drink some water

*might* be going out to lunch for a change, planning to leave for the day @ Noon but that could chage

My "good" eating is falling apart already and I've not been able to work out since Tuesday, haven't made myself do Wii Fit yet. Hopefully soon. I doubt very seriously I've lost any weight and have probably gained some this week. Fail.

Thurs. Jan 5th, 2012

Found out yesterday I actually have time off I need to burn so I don't lose it before the end of this month! Usually I'm out of time by Xmas, crazy. As a friend so aptly put it, "Guess you didn't have enough court dates last year?" Yeah, guess the truth hurts sometimes :P

Anyway, today:

24oz coffee
16oz energy drink
bowl of instant oatmeal

lunch will be (after walking my 2mi!)

2pc ham
3 clementines
16oz energy drink

and of course water. I will drink lots today. Maggie wants tacos (soft) for dinner tonight so it might be Turkey Taco time again. Haven't had that in a long while. We'll see.

Wed Jan 4th, 2012

Fail.

After the gym last night and a protein shake for dinner, I was starving this morning, and I did what I told myself I had to stop doing to meet my goal- I had breakfast @ McDonald's >.<  Why can't I just NOT do that kind of crap?

So today already looks like this:

Egg McMuffin
Hash Browns
36oz coffee

I will add the rest of the day as it goes, not planning on eating more than a few clementines for lunch after walking, but we'll see. Wednesdays are pizza nights with my daughter, so I definitely don't want to eat a bunch of crap today like I did yesterday.

Sometimes I feel like, Why even bother? I'm going to just remain overweight and who cares? It's not like I'm trying to impress anyone. I'm not with anyone. Meh. I have got to stop with the fast food, and keep going to the gym. I don't go on nights I have Maggie so I am going to have to start Wii Fit again. I have to do something more if I actually want to lose weight.

Tues. Jan 3. 2012

Today I've had:

24oz coffee, black
12oz water
3 pieces of fudge
2 sugar cookies
4 pieces of salted caramel
3 clementines
16oz energy drink

Walked 2mi during the lunch hour and now it's 1pm. I will drink at *least* another 36oz of water before I leave here today.

...

Gym tonight, protein smoothie for dinner, is the plan.

Hopefully tomorrow's entry will look very similar, minus all the junk >.<

25lbs by end of March is my 1st goal this year. We shall see how it goes.